Over ten years ago, I went through a very painful divorce. I felt as if someone had taken a bulldozer and destroyed all my dreams of having a "happy" marriage and family, while all I could do was stand and watch in total disbelief. I hurt. I felt abandoned. I felt cheated out of the "happily-ever-after" most little girls dream of having.
My son was just two and a half years old at the time and I was angry with myself for not being able to give him the "traditional" family I wanted so badly for him to have. Some days I was strong, other days I cried all day. Because most people see me as a strong woman, I think it was hard for them to believe that I was in that much pain. Maybe sometimes it didn't show. I had an active toddler to raise and I told myself to "suck it up" for his sake. Oh, but how I hurt!!!
But I discovered something so beautiful during that painful time. Although my marriage was destroyed, my relationship with my "first" love deepened. He was there on the days when I was so broken, I couldn't get up enough energy to go out and face the world. He was there on the nights that I cried so much, my whole body ached. He was there to help me be a loving mother to the gift child He had given me. I learned to lean on Him more. I began to anticipate the time "alone" with Him, reading and praying. I began to look forward to breakfasts and dinners with just us two--especially when my mom was so kind to take my son with her so that I could get some "me" time.
And just what kind of "first" love could be this supportive, gentle, and strong for me when I was weak and broken? JESUS!!! And He's there for you too! Make time to deepen your relationship with Him despite your circumstances. It will be the best time you ever spend!!!
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